Things I Learned While Being Unprofessional

In three weeks I will be ending my three month maternity leave and returning to my role as Middle School Head. During the wonderful times I have spent at home with our baby son, I had countless hours of feeding where I could just think. I learned a few things and I want to write them down so that I don’t forget once life gets busy again. Here is what I learned in my “unprofessional” time:

1) Be a contributor, and not only a consumer, of twitter – it will hone in what you have learned. Forcing yourself to summarize an article in 140 characters solidifies your take away. Instead of simply re-tweeting an interesting tweet, force yourself to describe it in your own words – you will remember what you read much better that way!

2) We are so much better at work if we take time away from work! I feel smarter and more confident in my thinking and ideas after my three months away. If we don’t take time to disconnect, creativity gets stifled and our thinking loses elasticity. It is like stretching your muscles after you work out – that stretching makes sure your muscles are in good shape for the next work out. Ensure you take time to “stretch your mind” before engaging with work again.

3) Sleep is vital! I feel like a different person because I have slept 7+ hours every night! Yes, my baby son is an incredible sleeper (I feel very lucky!) and thus I have gotten better sleep with him than I did before he was born and I was very busy with work. I am convinced that when I am well rested I work faster and better – my focus is sharp and I can get a lot done in a short amount of time. More sleep = faster work = more time to sleep well!

4) Allow time for your mind to wonder! It's relaxing and leads to great thinking and self-discovery.

5) There is great value in simply re-framing an idea. I often felt that good contributions to thought had to be new and innovative. However, in these months I have thoroughly enjoyed reading about a well-known concept (such as classroom differentiation) from a variety of viewpoints. Your take on things can be just as creative and valuable as the original inventor! Don't feel you need to invent, simply re-frame or rethink, and you will add valuable thoughts and contributions!

6) Take time to give words to your emotions or thoughts, even if it's just in your own head. Often there is so much on our minds that we do not take time to flesh out thoughts, see them through in our own minds until the end. Those incomplete thoughts just linger and weigh us down. Carrying conversations and full thoughts in your mind will give you comfort and peace – you “unload” as you think things through. Ultimately, I believe truly acknowledging feelings and thoughts leads to fulfillment.

7) Deepest joy comes from giving to others and then taking a moment to take it all in. I’ve always known the first part of this sentence (giving is the greatest joy), but what I had not known is that we need to allow ourselves time to “take in” those we love. See them play, talk, think and really observe -- the joy will become more palpable.

8) Notice how you feel and you will discover what you like. The busyness of life can clutter our mind and life. We are always having internal reactions to things and thoughts and if you are able to clearly see those reactions in you, you will be able to easily identify what you love doing (and what you don’t). If you can identify things you like to do and then take time to do them, you will add harmony to your life. Practicing what you love will “fill your tank” and make you ready to give in all aspects of your life.

9) I've learned I write to understand. My thinking clarifies as I write! Answers come to me in writing. I’m not sure this is the case for everyone, but this has been a valuable discovery for me!

10) Take time with and for all of those you love. Reply to their emails, send photos, show your affection. Taking time to show it gives you time to feel it!

Tenacity in the Face of Criticism

Below is a portion of my remarks at our Closing Exercises for our 8th Grade, June 2013:


I want you to be brave and not shy away from a career, a friendship, or a new experience because it appears difficult and you worry about what others may say when you try something new. Especially when we are young, what others say about us or what we think others might say about us can be all consuming. Social media magnifies your exposure and vulnerability to other’s criticisms. However, remember that it is the journey; the very process of trying that will define your life, much more than your achievements. I admire tenacity in the face of criticism. As President Theodore Roosevelt poignantly expressed by saying “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly…who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” I want you to live a life in the arena, where you won’t ever wonder “what if…” but rather will proudly look back at a life where you valiantly pursued experiences to answer your questions and hearts desires.

3 Guiding Principles to Building a Life You Love

Below is a portion of my remarks at our Closing Exercises for our 8th Grade:

Life has beginnings and endings, just like the one you are facing today. Moments like these are bitter sweet; you say goodbye to moments and people you have loved and step into an unknown new chapter. Today you have a sense of accomplishment and uncertainty, and I want you to embrace both. There is a lot you have accomplished and there are many questions you have about next year. “How will I feel in the Upper School? Will I be able to do the work? Who will my friends be? Will I like my teachers?” Because I know you as individuals and as a class, I know you will do well and rise to the new challenges. Life for women as courageous and dedicated as you, will always have new opportunities and with them new challenges. You face a life of possibilities and with it a life of decision making. In my own life, I have discovered 3 guiding principles that have helped me build a life I love and I want to share those with you today:

1)     Ask lots of questions, ask hard questions, and don’t expect the answers immediately. Ask yourself “Who do I want to be? What do I have to give? What do I love?” Answers will lead to more questions, but this process brings you ever closer to better understanding what you care about and what makes you happy.

2)      Forge your own path, dare to be different and follow your heart. This will not always be easy but I can guarantee that in the end your hard work will be worth it. Let your life be an expression of who you truly are, you will not only be happier but you will inspire others to do the same. 

3)      Don’t be afraid of facing fear, failure or uncertainty. Most importantly, don’t let these emotions stop you. It is in confronting fear that we become courageous, in experiencing failure that we gain the strength for success, and in embracing uncertainty that we discover what is possible.

I have no doubts that you have what it takes to do well and more importantly to contribute positively to the world. You have an army of people that care for you deeply and who work hard every day to give you their best so that in turn you can be your best. As you sit before your parents, grandparents and teachers today don’t forget to be grateful for all that you have received. We are all proud of you.  Be well, go far, and always follow your heart.